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Thursday 15 December 2016

The Sisterhood of Motherhood

I have a female cousin who is ten years older than me. By the time I was at an age where I might have been interesting enough to talk to, she'd already flown the nest and was busy being a proper grown-up. I, meanwhile, only had maths homework and the dilemma of whether to wear blue or lilac eyeliner to contend with.

It was a shame, but that was the way the cookie crumbled.

As I grew into my late teens and early twenties, I saw her more frequently. My Christmas visit to my parents house inevitably involved some sort of get-together, her family and mine. A few drinks out at a local pub maybe, or a glass of homebrew at ours. Well, the time it takes Mum to make it, it would be rude not to, right?

However, there was still a disconnection between our two lives. She, by this stage, had a career, she rented out student digs and was in a long-term relationship.

I, meanwhile, was at university, dating a bloke with some pretty dodgy dance moves but the longest eyelashes you'd ever seen. OK, I eventually married the guy, but back then I wasn't to know that was how things would turn out.

And what did I know about renting out houses or the politics of the workplace? Zilch. Of course, we covered all small talk topics known to man, and it was nice to chat. But to me, it unfortunately felt like she had more in common with my parents.

When I finally decided to try out this adulting lark I'd heard so much about and had Little O, I of course succumbed to 'mum fever', a plague many new mums are powerless to resist. Those early days when motherhood pulls you down deep and snakes into everything you do and feel, until you don't do or feel anything that isn't related to parenting in some form or another.

Mum fever consequently makes you more than a bit boring to people who don't have kids, but also completely ignorant of the fact. So, still, the culture clash remained.

It wasn't until my cousin fell pregnant that it all changed. Suddenly, we were texting about cots, carriers and cuddly toys. Then, when the baby came, discussions turned to sleeping behaviours, eating habits and alternatives to the moses basket. 

I gladly answered any and all questions, keen to help and above all, eagerly accepting this new, closer relationship. As an only child,it was probably the closest thing to sisterhood I had experienced. 

Her son is now approaching eighteen months old and we still talk frequently. Less advice is needed on her part now, but still, motherhood has allowed us some common ground and I will continue to cherish it and nurture it  for as long as I possibly can.

This post was first published on

3 Little Buttons

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  1. It's funny how the little ones can bring people together. I have a huge age gap with my sibling, so I imagine when he's in tow, I will the annoying one giving him advice. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam. Wishing you all a very Happy New Year :-)

  2. I've lost a lot of friends because of becoming a mum, but have made way more friends to outweigh it. How lovely that motherhood has brought you and your cousin closer. Thank you for linking up to #SundayBest x

    1. Yes it can feel so sad to feel you've moved on, especially if means distance between you and old friends. But I've found the same, I've made so many new friends and developed closer relationships, you have to see the good side. Thanks for reading x

  3. How great to see how Motherhood has connected you both.This is a simular story with my big brother but as soon as he had his eon he was staright on the phone to me asking advisce #postsfromtheheart

    1. Oh thats lovely to hear! Its good to read positive comments, thanks for reading x

  4. I love "mummy fever" - took me seven years to emerge on the other side, and I still have the occasional occasional relapse.

    A cousin is expecting a double does (twins) this year, and I can't wait to welcome her to the sisterhood #postsfromtheheart

  5. I really enjoyed reading this post, and can certainly relate to what you are saying. My brother is six years younger than me, and we have never really been close. Like you and your cousin, although we love each other there has always been a gap. Until that is he had his own son just after a year ago, it gave us the common ground that we've never really had and made us much closer - something that like you I cherish. Thank you so much for linking this up to #PostsFromTheHeart I think it's so important that people are given the hope that life events can make them closer to people they care about.