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Tuesday 4 July 2017

8 Times I Missed Out On A Celebrity Autograph

David Beckham

I was walking back from my lunch hour, and had just turned the corner out of Carnaby Street when I happened to glance up at a man walking past me in the opposite direction. He wore a baseball cap and was surrounded by five or six men who looked like they worked out regularly. 

It was only after he'd passed me by that it struck me. Hang on, I thought. Was that who I thought it was? Surely not, could it be? Yes, yes it was. 

You might know him as 'Becks', 'DB7', 'Golden Balls', 'The Beckster', 'Becky From The Block'*, 'Lord Beckingham', or as I like to call him, simply 'our Dave'. It was, indeed, Mr David Beckham. 

I glanced back and one of his heavies was eyeing me up, no doubt ready to leap into protective action should I suddenly switch into fanatic mode. 

Unfortunately, back then, to me he was not 'David Beckham', just a footballer, and I had no wish to interrupt his urgent need for retail therapy. We've all been there, after all. 

*OK, some of these I totally made up.

Goldie Hawn

I immediately recognised Goldie from her unmistakably impeccable posture and long blonde locks, despite the large, dark sunglasses masking her gaze out into Argyll Street on that sunny afternoon.

She had just stepped out of a shop and I was people watching from behind my sandwich, whilst perching my bottom on a bollard in the middle of the cobbled, pedestrianised street.

She saw me staring and I looked away quickly, embarrassed, of course. But I do wish I'd had the balls to shout "LOVED YOU IN PRIVATE BENJAMIN!"

Thinking back, I'm sure it could only have made the best of impressions and, I feel, cemented a firm, future friendship. 

C'est la vie.

Alan Titchmarsh

If Monty Don was (and, of course, he still is) the king of the gardening world, back in the nineties there was only one man who could hold the title of Prince Charming.

It was about 1995/6 and, to be honest, as a young teenager, I'm not entirely sure I knew who Alan Titchmarsh was at that point.

But, that doesn't negate the fact that I sat back to back with him at Palma airport. And he was wearing a pink polo shirt.

I'm surprised my mum didn't seize the opportunity to quiz him on her greengages.

Catherine Tate

This is a wholly embarrassing tale.

Some years ago, some friends and my husband and I were invited to a small stage show in the West End, performed by a theatrical friend of a friend.

As I sat in my seat prior to the show, chatting to an acquaintance, we remembered a recent report on the gossip grapevine that Catherine Tate might be in attendance. Excitedly, we speculated whether a red-head seated a few rows in front of us might be the woman herself, which then obviously led on to a discussion of her recent work.

It wasn't until the first act had finished and the curtains came down for the interval that we realised she'd been sitting right behind us the whole time.

Probably wouldn't have been the best time to ask for an autograph, after all.

Mark Hughes

He visited my primary school when I was five years old. I had no interest in football and had never heard of him.

Hence the memory of him surrounded by a huge throng of kids at one end of the playground, whilst I stood around nearby wondering what on earth the fuss was all about.

Sorry, Mark.

Nick Knowles

It was hard not to spot him in the line for a ticket at the cinema that evening. Nick was tall, broad and at the time, bearded. He was with his kids and had the air of someone who did not want to be bothered, which was no small task given it was a weekend and the queue was about twenty people long.

I think DIY SOS is a great programme but honestly, right then, he looked like he wanted an SOS right out of there!

Jason Flemyng

You may not instantly recognise this name but you will recognise his face. Or at least you will if you're currently watching Jamestown on BBC1, or have ever watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Layer Cake, Transporter 2, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, X Men First Class, Hanna or SS-GB.

It was a bit of a stereotypical celeb spot this one. He was hastily making his way across the busy concourse at London Euston, suitcase in hand.

I barely had a chance to realise who he was before he'd disappeared into the crowd.

Stuart Broad

Sometimes there are more important things than getting an autograph. 

We both attended a charity cricket match in aid of the MND (Motor Neurone Disease) Association and The Broad Appeal a few years ago. Sadly, Stuart has his own personal connection to the disease and my husband and I gave our support for a dear friend of ours who is passionate about fundraising for the cause.

It doesn't matter that I didn't get his autograph. It matters that the event was a success and a fantastic of money was raised for a worthy cause.

Would've preferred Goldie's anyway.

Do you have any autographs you're particularly proud of? Kicking yourself for missing out on one? I'd love to know!


  1. Absolutely hilarious the way you right. Love it. The Davideo Beckham line got me in stitches

  2. I don't think I have ever even seen a famous person up close in person other than some athletes. Never actors or singers.

    Would be exciting.

  3. OMG GOD! How?? You have seen so many people in real life. This did make me laugh...catherine Tate may have heard you. hehe xx Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

  4. Brilliant! Love the way you write, made me chuckle, I wonder if Catherine heard haha! I Seen Philip Schofield in Cornwall not so long ago ;) great post! #bestandworst