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Thursday 23 March 2017

8 Fashion Trends I'm Glad To See The Back Of

We've all had our 'off' days, the fashion world included. Here's a few gems that I'd be more than happy not to stumble across in Vogue ever again (Okay, you got me - so not Vogue, maybe Look or the fashion page in the Evening Standard...):

1. Harem pants

Just – nope. You know who they look good on? Aladdin. And his genie friend. Certainly not me, that’s for sure.

2. Hipster jeans

If you have a washboard stomach, then go for it. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, belly button and all. I flaunted it when I was 18, but two kids and a sedentary ‘nine-to-five’ later, and I’m less ‘washboard’ and more ‘overboard’. These days, I prefer jeans I can button right up to my ribcage.

3. The ‘shrug’

I can imagine the designers as they came up with this one. 

‘Let’s start with a cardi,’ they said, ‘but lop the bottom off and lose the buttons – that should do it.’ Yes, take away all the useful bits and what are you left with? A scarf with cap sleeves.

4. The lime-green/solar-orange phase

Unless you were a child of the nineties, you may not remember this one. Sadly, I do. It involved taking two clashing colours that should have been kept solely for painting the inside of railway tunnels, and wearing them on your body. In public. Together.

At least you could find me easily in the cinema.

5. Midi skirts

Is this still a thing? If they are still ‘in’ then I do beg your forgiveness, but personally, as a vertically challenged individual, these were never meant for me. They are fantastic at making a short person look shorter so I will have to leave them for taller folks to enjoy.

6. Cropped trousers

See above. Just add furry slippers and bed hair and I’m practically a Baggins.

7. Shell suits

Man, if the 80's hadn't produced me, I would say they had a LOT to answer for. Nevertheless, how this fashion atrocity continued to be popular into the 90's is beyond me.

8. ‘See-through’-ness

This includes lace, chiffon and anything else you can see your underwear through.

Yes, you may have a rack the likes of which Scarlett Johansson would be jealous, but the question you have to ask yourself is: would I do a food shop in it? If you wouldn’t be caught dead in the freezer aisle eyeing up the frozen peas, for fear of someone else eyeing up your wibbly bits at the same time, then put it back on the rail, dear. An outfit is never a good idea if you need a couple of stiff ones to summon up the courage to wear it.

If you couldn’t give two hoots about what people think, then I applaud you, but I know I’d have the voice of my mum in my ear asking, ‘is that how you’re supposed to wear that?’ 


Yes, Mum.

This post was first published on


  1. I love this post and it gave me a good giggle. I too used to be able to wear hipster jeans, I had a lovely (or so I thought then) belly button piercing and would think nothing of showing it off. Blimey, now pants, high top stretchy trousers and long tops are my friends and secret sharers!:)

  2. hehehe! This did make me chuckle only because I have worn most of these trends.
    I still wear cropped trousers in the summer. Eek! I don't have the legs for shorts and jeans are just too warm. #bestandworst

  3. I remember the orange and green look...and am proud to say I owned nothing in either colour! Great list :)


  4. Perfect! Several of these phases I never understood, Harem pants, what were they all about?! I did briefly own something very bright orange, until I realised what I actually looked like in it. #bestandworst