Saturday, 22 July 2017

Why Parenting Needs Positive Thinking

Let's get this over and done with.

Parenting is hard. I know. I've been there and I'm still there. I'm talking about the early (and not so early) days when you would willingly palm your precious bundle off to the postman, the bus driver, a neighbour, the guy on the doorstep offering to replace your fascia. Anybody. Just to get some kip.





Sleep deprivation is a killer but, let's face it, the blame does not lie solely at it's door. Let's not forget the leaky poops in public places, the leaky boobs in public places, having to sterilise everything, the judgements, sometimes from other mums (which to me is inexplicable). The fussy eating. The playgroups where everybody else knows each other - but nobody talks to you. The incessant monotony of the bloody routine. Having to take the buggy everywhere but there never being enough space for it. Being known as 'so and so's mum'. Nits. The dissolution of any previous career. Not being able to jump on a trampoline without having to concentrate really, really hard (you know what I'm talking about). The sad decline of your friendships with non-mum mates. Being told to appreciate your kids (really?) and the potty training. Oh Lord, the potty training.

To misquote the words of John Lennon: crikey, I know it ain't easy.

But I'm over it. I fully admit there are days when I want to shut myself in the bathroom and eat my weight in Jaffa Cakes, but I don't want that to be all motherhood ever was to me. Sometimes I am actually happy. There, I said it. And happy is good.



Are you happy? I want to know one thing that made you smile today. And if not your day, maybe your week?

Maybe your baby smiled for the first time. Maybe you made it out of the house. Maybe your eldest said thank you. Maybe you managed to put the washing on. Maybe you laughed till you cried. Maybe you received a compliment. Maybe you managed to have a shower and get dressed. Maybe you taught your kid to fist bump. Maybe you showed your baby a wiggly worm in the garden. Maybe you paid an outstanding bill. Maybe your child wrote their name for the first time. Maybe you caught a second of glorious sunshine and basked in it for just a moment. Maybe you managed to bath all the kids together by yourself. Maybe they ate what you gave them. Maybe Mummy 'made it all better'. Maybe you managed to keep it together today. Maybe you got a squeezy cuddle. Maybe your kid needed you and you were there.

These are all times you won at parenting, my friend. So don't be too hard on yourself and do tell someone about it. Tell me, or your partner. Or even Twitter. It's not bragging. It's healthy. Do it today. Do it now.



I don't want to fill my blog with posts about the bad times. Sometimes I vent, yes, because I'm human, but I don't want to focus on the negatives at the expense of the positives. Because if I look hard, there are plenty of positives worth shouting about. And those are the times I want ingrained on my memory, not the moments I struggled. I want to remember that I managed. In fact, not just 'managed', but absolutely slayed motherhood. 

I'm not the perfect mum - there have been ups and downs. But I don't want to look back at my blog in years to come and wonder if I was ever happy. Because I am. Writing events down commits them to memory. And I want to remember the happy moments. Don't you? 


One Messy Mama

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27 comments:

  1. This is so true. It can be so easy to talk about the hard bits and not mention the good stuff. Well today I had a good day - the wash basket was empty for five minutes, Jessica stopped crying when I came into the room and Reuben said I was the best cook. Today I slayed! #Blogstravaganza

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  2. Oh I love this post. And your list of things that make you happy is awesome.
    I'm now a Nana and my two grandchildren are stopping with us at the moment so I'm getting lots of 'happy' moments but my fav today was my two year old grand-daughter tucking her teddies in bed and 'reading' them The Hungry Caterpillar. So sweet :-)
    #Blogextravaganza

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  3. I agree I think it is good to see the positives that bring you joy X #talesofmotherhood

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  4. It's very easy to let the bad days overshadow the good but it's really important to let the good days shine through and remember the good times are what make memories. Keep on sharing your happy moments x
    #Blogstravaganza

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  5. Hi Mummy Wales! This post brought back so many memories!Thankfully, my jewels are a little grown.It was definitely challenging, i was overwhelmed a lot of the time, even with help!but guess what?i look back at even the challenges and smile! So keep your head up, catch breaks wherever and whenever you can. Document your journey, and watch time fly...(it might not feel like that now though), and pay no mind to judgmental people, because we all have our battles, some just hide them better than others.
    You go Mum! #Blogstravaganza

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  6. I always think that there are positives in even the worst of days. Sometime we just have to search a little! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

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  7. This is so true, it's important to focus on the good as well as the bad. Today is the first day of the school holidays :)

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  8. Such a beautiful post. Loved your way of writing. You describe each and every minute things in detail.
    Great article.

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  9. A very honest blog post. I don't have own children but I can imagine that it's both a challenge and very important to stay positive as a parent. Great read.

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  10. Well said! I agree, it is okay to be happy! I like to approach parenthood with laughter more than anything. Last weekend, my son painted our entire playroom with his juice box. Instead of getting over the top angry, I just laughed. Things happen, right? One day, I will miss the mess, so for now, I prefer to laugh about it.

    Today, getting to go on a 3 mile walk with my kids in the stroller definitely made me smile today! =)

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  11. I can totally relate to you. Raising two kids I know how is it but stay positive is the key og keep going 😀. Good read .

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  12. I am right with you here!! Everyone would say it gets easier. I sit back now (mine are 13 &7) and think gosh it really does. My kids still tire me out and drive me up the wall but it really does get easier!

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  13. I totally agree with you. I don't want to fill my blog up with negativity either. It would be so much better looking back knowing you were happy instead of just reading about the negative things that have happened. Love it. #TriumphantTales

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  14. Yes! It is hard to be positive sometimes, but I think the good always outweighs the bad.
    #TriumphantTales

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  15. With summer here and the four little kids in my face 2 hours a day it has been so hard not o et down on myself. I just feel like I am constantly losing it with them and then I go to bed feeling so badly. The twins are barely three and that is a challenging stage in itself. sigh.

    #runjumpscrap

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  16. So true. I can be a very negative person so I keep my blog as a mostly positive place to celebrate the good things and make a point of publishing a happy days post every week with a list of all the things that have made me happy in the last seven days, I think they will be great to look back on and remember the good times.
    #GlobalBlogging

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  17. The disasters make fun stories for later and fond memories for the kids when they look back on their childhood #dreamteam

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  18. I love a post like that. I'll be honest - my 10 month old was a dream today on a trip to London and it's made me love her even more...even when she still wants boob in the night :-) Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

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  19. Great post! As a nursery nurse (I know it's not being a mum but it's still a hell a'hard work) I can totally relate to this. Such a good idea to talk about one thing that made you smile.
    I had a boy in my group who was so challenging, but today when they broke up for summer he came over and gave me the biggest hug. If I was a crier I would have been in floods!

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  20. Absolutely love this post! Today my little girl counted along with me to 10 :) and went to bed with hardly any fuss! Now I'm about to have a hot cuppa and catch up with some blog reading. It's been a tough few weeks and it is so easy to focus on the negitives, this post got me thinking of all the good things about today and the past week and put a smile on my face so thank you so much for that #bestandworst xxx

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  21. This is so good. We are all quick to vent about the bad times that we don't focus on the good times. I need to start doing this more. Thanks so much for linking up to #TriumphantTales - hope to see you again on Tuesday!

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  22. This is lovely and something I needed to read. I'm not one to always see the positive in things and I need to do so more often! Thanks for sharing with #GlobalBlogging

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  23. Yes, definitely. We all want to remember those happy times and hold them tight. I agree, there's almost always something to feel positive about, no matter how little, it's there. Loving your positiveness. #DreamTeam x

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  24. A positive attitude really does count so much in life- you can change the whole situation just by changing your outlook. Parenting is hard though. Some days just suck. So, when they do, turn on some Backuardigans and wallow in some Ben & Jerrys and share it because sometimes it's nice to know we're not alone!

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  25. Thank you for this post! Parenting is so hard sometimes! It feels good to say it and it's so good to hear other moms say it too! But like you said it is so good to remember and focus on the good times! My daughter snuggled with me in bed this morning and those moments I wnat to hold onto forever!!!

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  26. I am a big believer in positive thinking and I truly believe that we can find some joy or goodness in any situation given us... Shell

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  27. Totally agree, positive affirmations and actually taking time for ourselves as moms is a must! The only way we will be great moms is if we are great and sane!

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